Long Live Miss Oklahoma

I've wondered what it must be like to be a Pageant Queen. All the glitzy 30 pound dresses, ammonia hair dye, spray-on tans that turn ALL your mucous membranes orange, chemical highs from Aqua Net and eyelash glue...it truly sounds like a dream. Not to mention that part where I'd have to pull an intelligent and well formed answer from my pretty little head that is culturally and socially "conscious" and includes the phrases "world peace", "global village", and "starving children in Africa." I'm exhausted just thinking about it, and I didn't even have to do all that in 6 inch platform stripper heels! Personal dreams aside, whether they like or believe it or not, these pageant queens and all their war paint, actually do become role models and symbols. We live in a society that is obsessed with beauty and perfect proportion and those girls represent the utmost in both those categories. Our eyes are glued to these beautiful, graceful, and seemingly smart and ambitious young ladies. Just for the record, any women entering it as a "scholarship contest" is lying; the money they spend on preparing for the event far outweighs what a decent college would charge for a degree. Speaking of financing the competition, our newest Miss America had an interesting way of raising money for her dresses, swimsuits, full body waxes (she is Lebanese after all), etc...The poor girl had to sell her car, strip for money, and ask for money from a Hezbollah supporting terrorist, Imad Hamad. But, I suppose considering she is a Shia Muslim and has terrorist family members back in Lebanon that shouldn't surprise us. Given all these dangerous seeming ties, and not to mention she tripped on stage and called birth control a "controlled substance", why on earth did this girl win? She's gorgeous, but she didn't show very much grace and her answer was neither intelligent nor particularly engaging. One particular woman did all these things, though- the runner-up Miss Oklahoma. She was graceful, and her answer was poignant and reflected enough intelligence to actually form her own thoughts. What was the real difference between these two ladies (besides the fact one is an actual American citizen and the other an immigrant)? One can surmise that the difference is strictly cultural and political. One girl is a picture of WASPy perfection and precisely the sort of person demonized these days in favor of cultural diversity and affirmative action. The other is a trendy and exotic minority that happens to be on the winning end of the ACLU and a popular group to receive pity from the liberal set. Funny, I was sure this sort of thing was called discrimination, but I'm white, what do I know? I do know that it is come time for society at large, the government, and the media to stop dismissing conservatives as yokels with nothing in their brains except Nazi symbols and confederate flags like the pageant judges dismissed Miss Oklahoma for her Arizona answer. The answers to our problems lie in reason, compromise, and moderation. Reason to solve problems stoically; compromise to consider all valid points of view and the ability to give up a want for a need; moderation to keep the government and those others who wish to control in check. There need not be spades of emotion involved in governing processes. Men have been telling women this for thousands of years; stop crying and solve the problem! Stop crying long enough to see a clear, logical solution. Miss Oklahoma gave a clear rational answer to a judge who was emotionally involved in question; he couldn't have rationally judged her answer for a second. More and more, our media and culture is headed that direction. Newspapers and TV programs appeal to our emotions: starving children, elderly without medical insurance, poor immigrants that are treated like dogs in their own countries. Any group that attempts to provide a clear and stoic answer to these problems is labeled as callous, stupid, or ignorant, and worse, compared to the Communist or Fascist regimes the liberal media and our current government much more closely resemble. We are not extremists; we are the Miss Oklahomas of the world-men and women who simply and clearly voice our opinions only to be out voiced by a sob story with ominous ties and darker skin. I won't go so far as to call her a decoy for Islamic extremism, although I personally won't discount it. She's a young woman with seemingly loose morals (see: stripping for money; you can google the pictures) who happened to be a convenient spokeswoman for the culturally biased, discriminatory, overly emotional and sensitive culture in which we live.

Long Live Miss Oklahoma.