Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts

Friday, April 1, 2011

Why We Need Compromise

Let's face it, in politics, compromise is inevitable, and it's necessary. Realistically speaking, nothing gets done if we all cling to our silly principles. The world revolves around people working together, and without working together nothing gets done. That's really what we need.

When you take a good idea and compromise with a less good idea, you still get a good idea. This shouldn't be lost on anyone who completed public schooling - that's one thing we can thank the Democrat party for. They did teach us the value of compromise.

Sometimes you just have to accept that things are how they are, and that the best way to deal with them isn't to stand up to things you can't control, but instead to just try and get a bit of compromise.

When looking at candidates for 2012, for example, we should really give people like Huckabee more thought that what we have. He has the ability to compromise, and that reaching across the aisle and being civil and embracing a lot of leftist policies is a good thing. McCain could do the same, and he did well in 2008 by proving that Republicans, and the right as a whole, can indeed compromise. McCain is still well-regarded in DC circles, where he can go and help out less good ideas by inputting his good ideas. He's still trying to support Americans who were unlucky enough to be born outside the country, mostly in Mexico, and without papers get acknowledged as real Americans - but some racists won't compromise and let them in and here to stay because they're racist racists.

Now sure, some people will say "but that doesn't make any sense, a good idea and a bad idea don't equal a good idea", and to them I say, "you're probably a toothless hillbilly redneck racist who should be herded into camps and exterminated and never allowed to breed and pollute the gene pool". That is, unless they're black, in which case they're an Uncle Tom, and if they're another color, who really cares, since they're white on the inside and racist against themselves, and that's why they'd say something stupid like that. There are no bad ideas, only bad people, and if you think like that, you're one of them.

For another example, take deficit spending. That means we overspend and have to borrow to get the money to cover our bills. If government were a regular average blue-collar family, that'd be like mortgaging your house to pay for your trip to Disneyland. Now who would want to take away a trip to Disneyland?

She hates Disneyland.

Now what happens when you use all that money from mortgaging your house?

Easy! You remortgage!

If someone says you can cut your budget, you should cut it from things that can be seen - like defense - to really show you're doing something about cutting costs. It'd be like the family cutting costs on food. When you see there's less on your plate to eat and the kids are hungry, they'll appreciate spending money on Disneyland that much more.

I'm sure those of you who are stupid and hate logic are asking "but hyuck-hyuck, what happens when we runs out of money? How will we buy more NASCAR crap and be able to pay for cable to watch Jersey Shore?"

Well, that's obvious. You remortgage again! Since people insist on things like defense and the other crap that's spelled out in the Constitution that government has to do - see what happens when you don't compromise? You have to spend that money that could otherwise be saved - and be given to homeless people to buy things to stimulate the economy. If we just stopped spending on defense, we'd be fine, and since we'd stop attacking other countries, they'd maybe start to like us again. With the money we saved, we could put all those soldiers to work making houses for poor people.

There's probably one wife-beating cross-burner out there that wants to know "what happens when you run out of remortgaging?" Well that's easy, you racist, then you rely on your community to help you out - since your generosity in taking the neighbor kids to Disneyland will be repaid. Although you should just do those things because your neighbors aren't as well off as you, not because you want something back.

"But how are you well-off if you're debt?" Shut up, you racist. Don't you have an interracial couple to go abuse?

And your neighbors will help you out with your debt because you do so many good things for them. And they also don't want you to go down, since they'll take care of your debt, but they need you around to pay them back.

So things work out well when we try compromise. Everybody gets to go to Disneyland - all you have to do is let the good ideas mix with the less good, and things work out for the best. Even that's kind of judgemental. Remember there are no bad ideas, only different kinds of good idea. So an idea that isn't as good plus an idea that is good equals a really good idea.

Compromise is a good thing.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

xkcd's Nolan Chart

Pretty much on the mark with this one:
http://xkcd.com/868/

We here at The Patriot Perspective agree (from back in the days when I was even more heavily influenced by the Jawa Report's style of finishing off a post*):
http://thepatriotperspective.blogspot.com/2009/09/worlds-smallest-political-alignment.html

xkcd is cool, no matter what the haters on any blagoblogs** say. It's just cool the same way that Rush and D&D are cool.

But whatever. I'm a Far Side guy myself.

Photobucket

They're going to rescue Willzyx and Tom Cruise.


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* For a recent example from Jawa Report. They do look for terrorists and terrorist propagandists to disrupt online, often by reporting videos online or getting servers to stop hosting terrorist sympathizer websites. Admirable work. They also like hot chicks, a staple of the internet - and know there's a reason they're morale boosters. I also like big morale boosters. Most guys do.

**Or blogoblag. But I wrote blagoblog without looking up that comic first... so I'm sticking to it. Blagoblog.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Meet The Liberal Elite

As the video description says:
"A conservative encounters an elitist liberal. A pleasant conversation ensues. This is that conversation."



The flat delivery of xtranormal's animated characters makes it that much more fun. Enjoy!

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Beltway Adventure

Blogger Iowahawk offers a text-based adventure version of the events in DC from the last couple years, with characteristic wit.

http://iowahawk.typepad.com/iowahawk/2010/10/beltway-adventure.html

I've included a short continuation of my own, were ADVENTURER to keep playing:

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

>

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

>TURN HARDER LEFT. DEMONIZE STATES THAT OPPOSE POLICIES.

THAT ISN'T WORKING.

>TURN HARDER LEFT

THAT ISN'T WORKING.

>DEMONIZE PEASANTS. NATIONALIZE MEDIA. DECLARE MARTIAL LAW.

YOU WILL BE IMPEACHED IF YOU DO THAT. YOU HAVE WASTED A TURN. IT IS NOW NOVEMBER 2010.

>CAMPAIGN FOR ALLIES IN CONGRESS

IT'S TOO LATE FOR THAT NOW.

>WAIT

IT IS NOW 2011. WAR IS GETTING WORSE, PEASANTS ARE MARCHING WEEKLY. STATES IN THE FOREST ARE WINNING CHALLENGES AGAINST YOUR PROGRAMS IN COURT. YOU ARE IN AN OVAL OFFICE. THERE IS 20% REAL UNEMPLOYMENT IN THE FOREST. YOU HAVE 35% APPROVAL HEALTH. YOU HAVE NO GOLD LEFT. CHINA WANTS YOU TO GIVE THEM GOLD BACK. YOU HAVE NO CONGRESS LEFT. YOU HAVE NO MEDIA LEFT SINCE NO ONE BELIEVES THEM. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

>SPIN. BLAME BUSH. BLAME PALIN. BLAME NEW CONGRESS. BLAME SENATE. BLAME BASE. BLAME RACIST EXTREMIST TEA PARTY.

THE PEASANTS ARE THE TEA PARTY. YOU NOW HAVE 15% APPROVAL.

>RALLY BASE

YOUR BASE IS NOW SUPPORTING HILLARY.

>DON'T PANIC

WRONG GAME.

>WAIT

IT IS NOW 2012. YOU HAVE BEEN VOTED OUT OF OFFICE BY A GRUE.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Klavan's Guide To The Elections

Andrew Klavan's "Klavan on Culture" presents some interesting points for the upcoming elections to consider in these first two parts of what may become a short series:

Part 1: The Economy



Part 2: War!


As someone who generally identifies more with the Tea Party and Libertarians and Constitutionalists...

I'm going to have to make sure I'm hydrated and well-rested for pelting day.